I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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