I'm lost and stupid without you.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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