that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
