Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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