I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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