I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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