Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
