Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
