You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
