that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its about making memories worth repressing
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
