Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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