I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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