I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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