CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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