ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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