I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
