just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
