I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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