Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's allergic to latex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.