I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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