so explain again why im purple
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right