she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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