You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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