Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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