Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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