sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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