THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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