You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
