Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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