Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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