My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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