why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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