some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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