All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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