i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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