This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
