genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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