thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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