I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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