i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
