i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
