She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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