nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
