I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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