Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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