Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize