is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
