i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize