$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
