Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
