It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize