I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
