is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
