yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
