she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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