Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
