Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
