My nipple is on Facebook.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
