Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
