Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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