Pappa wants mamma naked
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
