i permit you to call me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
