I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants