Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
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she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
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No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?