That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"